by OneMoreBite | Feb 11, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
If you’ve struggled repeatedly, yet continue to fail in your efforts, what’s going wrong? Was it the way you tried to stop, quit, or cut down, was too restrictive? Did you say, “I’ll never eat ice cream again,” or “From now on I’m not eating that.” When you set such absolute restrictions on yourself and then the cravings and urges keep hitting you, washing over you like waves on the shore, relentlessly, repeatedly, it’s not unlikely that eventually you’ll relent. “I can’t do it. I don’t have the will power. I’ll never lose this weight.” The waves won’t stop coming unless you learn to ride them.
Learn to Ride the Waves
Get out your boogie board, and you’ll be glad for those waves. Think differently about the situation. So you’re riding a wave of desire – ah, there’s the crest, now you’re free falling down the other side – most likely you’ve forgotten about the wave entirely by now. Next thing you know, here comes another wave. What do you do? You ride it. Just ride it, and you’ll go over another and another. Habits hit hard, but each successive wave is a little less intense, a little shorter. By riding the waves you’ll find you can learn to surf them, then even enjoy them as they lose their power over you.
Sit on your hands if you have to, but ride the craving out. It won’t last. The toughest times are those first few days because that’s when your desire to continue old habits is highest and your will to ride out the craving is at its lowest. Even though your desire to change may be very high, the will to withstand those waves is low simply because your “usual” pattern of behavior is to dive right in.
Stay out of the Water
Post a “No Swimming” sign for the next wave. You can go swimming anytime but not this wave. Just this one wave. One minute at a time. If you have a habit of overeating, no matter what time of day, realize it’s just a habit. No different than a habit of biting your nails, twirling your hair, or picking lint off your sweater. Habits are acquired, repetitive tasks. They usually help us feel better simply because their repetitive nature is soothing. Habits can be broken if you are willing to ride the waves. If you’ve tried the “I’ll never eat …” again approach and it didn’t work, try the one-day at a time or one-minute at a time approach.
When the urge strikes, decide right then to ride this one out. Tell yourself, “I’m riding this wave,” and then as Nike says, Just Do It. That means you decide in advance that you will wait, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, or 5 minutes; whatever time works for you. Decide how many minutes you will wait before you’ll go ahead and do whatever you are wanting to do. A few minutes gives you a chance for the wave to crest and you’ll be amazed how often it does.
Every single time you ride that wave and get to the other side it gets easier and easier. Now, for you, it could be that it takes a thousand waves before it gets easier but I can guarantee it will. The day will come when you’ll realize you used to have a problem with this food or that, or you used to eat an entire bag of chips every night, but you no longer do. Now if you want a cookie, you eat a cookie but that crazy desire to eat them all has gone. The tide has turned.
Try the W.H.A.C.K approach. Read Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss. Free Ebook.
by OneMoreBite | Feb 5, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
If this morning has been pure crap, then it’s going to be better from now on, and what if it isn’t? What if it keeps getting worse? When you finally leave work exhausted, your tire is flat, you don’t have a spare, when you finally get on the road there’s a huge traffic jam, you notice you’re almost out of gas, and you suddenly realize you need a bathroom? What then? Isn’t that a crap day? Can I now tell myself, this day is horrible? No, sorry.
Instead, wonder aloud, what good is going to come of this? What is going to happen, that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, had it not been for these delays? Will you meet a good Samaritan at the service station who will gift you with a new car because he just won $20 million in the lottery? You never know. Maybe you’ll glance into that puddle to find a floating lottery ticket that turns out to be a $1000 winner. You never know where you’ll find your good fortune, so keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities. Dwelling on the negative only gives you more negative. Dwell on the potential. Expect to receive good things and good things will start to come your way. It’s true. Try it for a week, and let me know if I’m wrong.
I’ve lived my life expecting good things and if nothing else it’s kept me a happier person. I’m no saint. I just don’t envision that everyone is out to annoy me. Most people are focused on their own happiness, you just got in their way. There are only a few folks who really enjoy tormenting others (Simon on American Idol comes to mind). The rest of us just do it by accident. 😉
EFT Ideas For When Things Just Aren’t Going So Great
“Even though I hate this day, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Reminder: “Hate today”
“Even though nothing is going right today, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Reminder: “Nothing going right”
Why does EFT help? It reduces the stress and anxiety associated with the energy flow of negativity that sets up when a series of bad events (or sometimes even a single event) happen. It helps. Once the anxiety is reduced, you can take a deep breath and see more clearly to find your good fortune. After the stress dissipates you won’t feel so much like stuffing yourself to get away from this uneasy feeling. You won’t need to anymore because the feeling will already be gone.
Get free EFT instructions: How to use EFT for Weight Loss. EFT is used for weight loss by tackling the emotional issues that cause you to overeat for instance. There are so many different reasons why we do as we do. EFT helps you achieve the results you want without years of expensive psychotherapy to “figure it all out.” With EFT you don’t have to know why, you just know it works.
by OneMoreBite | Jan 6, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
So, I’m cold – I’m usually cold, so this is nothing new, but it’s especially cold to me. I’ve got on layers, two pairs of socks, two pairs of pants, three shirts, and I’m still feeling brrrrr, shivering cold. I’d put the heater higher but my husband likes this arctic chill, so I’m compromising. Being chilled I suddenly thought about getting something to eat. Not because I’m hungry, but simply because I’m cold. Moving around would feel nice, eating would warm me too – that’s the thought that ran through my mind, and it makes sense. Eating stokes the metabolic fire, after all.
Discover Your Eating Triggers
So, there I’ve just discovered an eating trigger for me. Being cold makes me want to eat something – not a bowl of cereal, or a sandwich. I was thinking along the lines of chocolates, or nuts – something simple I could just pop in my mouth and commence chewing. Ah, but then I remember, today is the second day of my big plan to eat a “clean diet.” I’ve been talking about it for a month – letting people who know me in on the plan in an effort to help me do it. I eat a pretty healthy diet but I’ve let my weight creep up this winter, so I need to nip it in the bud right now.
Now nuts are okay on a clean diet, but the salted peanuts we have in the house are greasy and very high fat (raw almonds would be a better choice), and I know I’m not really hungry, so no amount of nuts is going to satisfy me. I just want to chew. It’s one of those, “eat until they are gone” type of hungers. So my new goal for this week is to wait for real hunger before eating. That’s all – just wait until I’m hungry first.
So I did a couple quick rounds of EFT: (Remember, if you need EFT instruction, here are no-cost materials to help.
“Even though I’m ultra cold, and I want to eat something, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
I always start on the P.R. point (side of the hand – karate chop point) and say the set-up three times. Then I do a series on the usual tapping points with the shortened words: “too cold.”
“Even though I don’t want to wait until I’m hungry, I deeply and completely accept myself and will wait anyway.”
“Don’t want to wait.”
Notice how you can add any words you like at the end of your statement? Go ahead and embellish the wording, speak to yourself in a kind manner, and the words will come to you.
While tapping I was thinking about my issue – how being cold is making me want to eat. Is that true, or was I just having a knee jerk reaction? I remember being offered hot chocolate as a child, with those little marshmallows on top, “Here, have some nice cocoa, it’ll make you feel better.” Smiling grandma fades out. So many memories intertwined with food.
There’s nothing wrong with having memories around food – food is an important part of our lives, and I’m not advocating stopping that practice – no way. I am interested in discovering my triggers though: those times I absentmindedly put something in my mouth because of a triggering event, such as the cold feeling in my body. Being cold is not the same as being hungry.
How to Wait for Hunger
Waiting for hunger isn’t so difficult but the hunger itself can be elusive and you may wish it would come sooner. The more nutritious food choices you make, the less often you’ll feel true hunger. Waiting for hunger isn’t so difficult, you just need to find something else to do when the urge to eat strikes without hunger. I’m busy working, so that’s no problem.
You’d be shocked if you waited for real hunger – assuming you eat nutritious food when you eat, that is. I ate breakfast at around 7 AM, nice big bowl of oatmeal and raisins with a sprinkling of brown sugar and non-fat milk. Around 10 AM I decided to eat an apple. Nice, sweet, juicy apple. Crunchy, excellent snack, IMO. So, now it’s likely I won’t be hungry again for another couple of hours.
Oops, I wandered off in the middle of writing this and ended up peeling and eating a Clementine while standing in the kitchen admiring the snow (a Clementine is a type of seedless tangerine, I think). Anyway, it was good. So I wasn’t hungry just then, that’s okay. I’m not a robot – it’s a plan, not a life sentence.
The nice thing about waiting for hunger is you can estimate it – so if I want to plan for lunch, I know sometime between noon and 1 PM will probably be when I’ll get hungry. Unless I’m busy doing something, in which case I might decide to wait. My husband just offered to make me some soup and a sandwich and I said, “No, thanks. I just ate an apple.” I could eat a sandwich, but today, I’m going to wait for hunger. Try it yourself, and see what happens. You may be surprised.
From now on I know that if I’m cold I may want to eat something, so I’m going to wait for hunger. Simple. It’s about being aware, that’s all. Notice what’s going on around you, and use EFT for the obstacles.
by OneMoreBite | Jan 2, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
I notice a distinct difference in my eating patterns during the winter than the summer. I’ve worked with clients who specifically addressed this issue as they wanted to avoid the seasonal weight gain loss cycle from now on. Do you notice this phenomena, and what, if anything, can you do about it?
The first step is noticing what’s happening, and the second is deciding to do something about it. You may walk up your front steps every day, thinking about how you really should get out and clean of the leaves, but yet, you don’t. Why? It’s not that you wouldn’t like the job done but … It’s warmer inside, your routine is to walk straight in and relax and you want to relax, don’t you? You don’t want to go inside only to change your shoes and come right back out, so you don’t. Despite your wish that the job were complete, you don’t take the first step toward getting it done.
Frank Holleman
It’s the same with our eating habits. We just think about making a change. Day after day, there it is, that though. “Oh, I’d like to make a change, I’d really like to, but something just stops me.” That something is inertia, plain and simple. You do the same things in the same way because that’s how it’s always been. That can change, if you want it to. A simple decision is the first step.
Do you keep your word? When you say you are going to do something for someone else, do you follow-through? Can other people trust you to do as you say you will? If you answered yes, then what about yourself? Do you give yourself the same consideration and can you trust yourself to follow-through? That’s a more difficult question to answer because we all have let ourselves down at one point or another. We’re afraid to make a commitment and then not follow through. We’re afraid.
Two Steps to Take Today
1) Think of fear of failure. If it is something that might be a factor for you then do EFT on that today.
“Even though I’m afraid I’ll fail, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I might not make it, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I’m not sure I want to do this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
2) Today choose one habit in which you’d like to make a change. It can be as simple as cutting back on the frequency of certain foods. For instance, a client had a Wednesday morning donut challenge in her office. She said she’d eat donuts whether she wanted them or not, and couldn’t seem to resist. We used EFT on that issue, and today she says, “I might have half a donut, or not, but I don’t grab one every time I pass the try like I used to.” Great success, right? Wrong. She’s not satisfied. She thinks she shouldn’t ever want a donut again, but that’s not necessarily correct. Success is that she no longer feels she MUST have a donut, but now is able to choose if she wants one. She might eat part of a donut – not many can do that.
Give Yourself Credit Every Step of the Way
The simple habit change of eating one donut instead of four, every week, eventually means a few pounds lost over time by that change alone. It’s the total effect of what we eat, not one single meal. Make changes you can live with – drastic dieting plans don’t last, but small changes do.
As time goes by, some people may eventually stop eating many things they used to, but it is generally done in a progressive fashion. Telling yourself you can never have another donut is not likely to help you learn to eat less donuts, but knowing you can have some if you want, and choosing when you want them, does help you to eat far less.
Choose one thing this week that you usually eat or drink to excess and decide now to make a change. Certain days of the week, certain hours of the day, quantity, whatever will work in your situation, but choose now to make a healthier choice and work on it all week.
Do EFT daily, three times a day on the issue. By this time next week, that may have become a non-issue and you might be ready for another small change.
by OneMoreBite | Dec 22, 2003 | EFT Weight Loss
Cooking in Advance, Buying Candy in Advance, All Fraught with Peril
Trying to “plan ahead” so you can avoid some of the rush is nearly impossible, unless you’re smarter than I. Thinking I’d make about three major dishes for Christmas Eve dinner it finally dawned on me last night that Christmas Eve this year is Wednesday. I’m going to have to bake on Tuesday, stick it in the refrigerator and avoid it until Wednesday evening. This is not my favorite thing to do, no not at all.
I’ve always had a difficult time in making a cake a day ahead. (Whenever you catch yourself saying the word “always” that’s a hint something to use EFT on is coming to mind). I want to eat the cake as soon as it’s finished, so if it must wait for a day, it’s torture. I also like to make those huge three and four layer cakes so it takes up the entire refrigerator causing me to see it and nothing else every time I open the door.
If I bake a lovely cake and see it in the refrigerator, it beckons to me. Knowing I cannot take a slice without ruining the presentation doesn’t seem to help me avoid the siren call. I could be sitting, minding my own business, when I suddenly snap my head upright, as if I’ve heard a ghost, “Come and get a piece of cake,” it calls to me. “I’m waiting,” it cries. Stupid cake.
Rather than trying to analyze why I have this strange desire for cake, or why I have such a difficult time in this situation, I’m going to tackle it head-on with some EFT. I may also use the Swish Technique (taught in the Ending Emotional Eating workshop, Session 4).
If you’ve struggled with similar issues, try these suggested EFT phrases, or devise some for your situation.
EFT for Patience
While continuously tapping the P.R. (Psychological Reversal) point* say, “Even though I want to eat the cake, except I’m not supposed to, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, tapping the entire time, and say it like you mean it. Then tap the rest of the points, using a reminder statement, such as “eat cake.”
“Even though I can’t stand waiting, I choose to give myself permission to wait.”
Reminder: “Can’t wait.”
“Even though I hate doing what I’m supposed to, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”
Reminder: “Hate being told what to do.”
“Even though I can’t seem to deny myself what I want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and give myself permission to wait.”
Reminder: “Can’t deny.”
Practice this on some food or beverage that seems to call to you, and see whether it helps ease that pull. If you are reluctant because you are afraid you’ll lose the desire completely (and this is a favorite thing, after all), be aware that’s unlikely to happen. Most discover they still would enjoy the food, but they no longer feel compelled to have it, and that is what is being addressed. The desire, or compulsion to have something that seems beyond a rational desire.
Smile today at every person you see, and practice patience. Think of an inside joke, remember a happy moment, or a funny movie you saw. Put a happy memory in your head and carry it around with you, then whenever you see someone just smile to yourself. Even in the crowded stores, people will treat you better when you put a happy bubble around yourself, and you’ll lift their spirits as well.
* Psychological Reversal Point (PR)
by OneMoreBite | Dec 19, 2003 | EFT Weight Loss
You Are Born With Only Two Fears, You Learn the Rest
Behavioral research has established that babies have only two inborn fears: the fear of certain noises and the fear of falling. All other fears are learned through experience or our own thought processes.
When a baby learns to walk he isn’t afraid of the process; he’s cheered on with clapping and laughter as rewards for each successful step. When children start school suddenly they are compared to a classroom of other kids. Some learn faster than others, and some have different skills, yet most kids slowly learn not to take chances; they begin to fear being made fun of, or laughed at. The messages they begin to chant to themselves are: don’t risk, don’t try, and above all else don’t fail.
After enough painful experiences, we slowly learn to fear many things and we develop a storehouse of information about our fears. Some are very real, some are just bad memories. Some come and go, and some cause a lot of grief and trouble for us as adults because we can’t seem to move past them.
Change Can Terrify
Making attempts at personal change, especially changing your external appearance (such as when taking off weight) can be worse than mildly scary – it can be terrifying. If you succeed, people notice, for a little while, then their delight disappears and everything goes back to normal for them. They accept the “new you” as the real you, but what happens to you when you start to return to the “old you?” You may think people are noticing, or worry that you are failing, again. You may be afraid that people you know and your family will make fun of you, or laugh behind your back. You may revert to grade school and all those old familiar feelings rush right back in. “It costs too much to fail, maybe it’s best if I just don’t try.”
You can move past these issues whether it is an outright fear of failure at trying again, or a vague uneasy feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on. All fears, and anxiety or uneasiness feelings are real in the moment you are experiencing them whether or not they are based on false or misleading information.
EFT to Address Fear Itself
If you are afraid of failing, or having one more failed attempt, if you’ve tried countless other programs, diets, and plans to lose some weight but none have worked, then attack the fear of failure itself with EFT. Address your fear first, and you have a much greater chance at success over the long-term.
EFT for Fear of Dieting Failure
While continuously tapping the Psychological Reveral Point (PR) located on the side of one hand in the karate chop area) say:
“Even though I’m afraid of having one more failure, and I’ve tried so many times before, none the less, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, with emphasis. Then tap the rest of the points, using a reminder statement, such as “one more failure.”
“Even though I can’t stand the though of failing one more time, I choose to give myself permission to try.”
Reminder: “Can’t fail.”
“Even though I’m not sure of this EFT will work, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I’m willing to take the chance.”
Reminder: “Not sure.”
EFT for Shame and Embarrassment
During the process you may become more aware of a different aspect, such as shame. In that instance you could change your statement. Tapping the P.R. point you would say,
“Even though I’m ashamed to say I’m going to lose the weight and then I don’t, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, with emphasis. Then tap the rest of the points using the reminder, “This shame.”
“Even though I’m embarrassed to try and fail again, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Reminder: “This embarrassment.”
Pay attention to any new thought that races through your mind as you are doing the process, acknowledge the thought, turn it into a statement, and tap on the new statement. Doing this can help uncover many aspects which may lay beneath your conscious awareness and you’ll accomplish much more than simply addressing the original issue.
Alternatively, keep a note pad handy and jot down notes about your fleeting thoughts as ideas for future EFT sessions. You’ll uncover many aspects by listening within.
Be More Specific for Best Results
EFT is most effective when it addresses specifics, rather than generalizations, so narrow down your thoughts from “I’m afraid of failing,” to a specific incident you recall where you tried and failed. What did you say to yourself at that time, what did others say to you when that happened? If you can narrow the field to one specific incident, then the EFT can quickly address the precise pathway that hundreds of other “afraid of failing” thoughts use. Interrupting that path may then affect other issues ability to continue to use that path. Think of it as putting of a roadblock on a roadway. Suddenly many travelers much find an alternate route or decide to not travel at all.
This is how EFT is able to knock down big issues by tapping on the smaller aspects first. It’s the David and Goliath approach. If you try to attack it all with full force, you cannot even cause a dent. Your Goliath of problems will just kick your army away. But if you simply sling a few pebbles straight at a specific target, like David did to Goliath, you can fell your giant.
Sometimes our loved ones do get tired of hearing us talk about what we’re “going to do,” especially if we rarely follow-through. If you fear what they will say when you tell them you are trying something new, then tap on that issue.
“Even though the last time I said I wanted to take off weight my family laughed and said ______________, I choose to give myself permission to follow through anyway.”
“Even though my husband will roll his eyes when I tell him I’m going to lose some weight, I deeply and completely love and appreciate myself, and forgive him anyway.”
Notice how I altered the phrasing in the last two examples? Add things that are true for you into your phrasing. Make the EFT process your process. The precise statements given as examples are for you to learn how to use the EFT protocol. The words themselves are not set in stone – you can be as flexible and creative as you like. The more you practice, the better and easier it becomes to use EFT for any issue that comes up through the day.
When doing EFT becomes a regular part of your daily routine, all the issues that have kept you stuck will slowly fall away until the true you is able to shine.
