The Fear Factor
The Fear Factor
How many times have you tried to lose some weight and failed? Oh, you lost some weight all right. Losing it is not the problem, it’s the gaining it right back that haunts you, isn’t it? The thought of trying and being disappointed one more time can be overwhelming. It’s not you that failed, it was the diet or “plan” you tried to follow that wasn’t in tune to you or your lifestyle. Anytime you find yourself thinking about how many more days you have to endure an eating plan, then you already know any weight you’ve lost will be temporary.
Any reduction in food overall will help you shed pounds but unless it’s something you enjoy and will continue, any change you achieve will not last. That’s to be expected. It works the other way too. If you gain extra weight over the holidays, you’ll probably drop those pounds as soon as you get back into your regular routine. That’s generally how it works for people without a weight problem.
It only backfires when you stay in the “eating machine” mode into the New Year and then clear through to summer, when you realize none of your shorts fit and now you’re in trouble.
Are You Ready to Make a Change?
This year can be different. This can be the year you make a change in those old habits, if you’re ready. How do you know when you’re ready? You have had all you can take, you may get angry (not at yourself but at the false promises you’re so tired of hearing). You get motivated to take back control of your health–away from doctors who do nothing but prescribe pills or TV commercials that entice you with promises they cannot keep.
Now, anyone who has stayed on a reduced calorie plan for a long period of time, and many of you have done this, has the power within, will power it’s usually called, to accomplish anything you set your mind to accomplish. In fact, you can accomplish anything at all, if you truly want it. It’s not a matter of overcoming your desire to eat more than you need, it’s shifting your thinking to what do you want more? You may reach the point where you say, “Enough is enough.”
I use a multi-phased process to make changes in my life. Simply deciding I’m going to make a change rarely works because I forget all about it and keep doing my regular things in the regular way. It’s only with a systematic approach, a planned attack that I’m able to really make a change, and yes, it does takes effort. There is no magic trick, no wham and it’s all done now program. All those advertised products and plans you hear that claim you’ll never be hungry, it’s effortless, eat-all-you-can and still lose all you want, are simply designed to drain your pocketbook and deliver nothing in exchange except more disappointment.
Advertisers know what you want to hear and they deliver it (politicians do this too at election time). They tell you it will be easy, because you want it to be easy. They tell you you’ll drop a lot of weight because that’s what you want to hear. If they didn’t say it would be easy, would you still be interested? Probably not.
If fear of failure is getting in the way of your trying something that really could work, then work on the fear. The most common thing I hear is, “I know I could use EFT on my craving, but I don’t. I go ahead and eat, and then I feel guilty and mad at myself. Why do I keep doing this?”
It usually comes down to one or two things, sometimes both: Fear of failure, and fear that you’ll never get to eat your favorites again if you stop the cravings. Both are false. If you follow-through, using these techniques, then you will succeed.
If you use EFT on the cravings, you’ll gain an understanding of why you can eat what you truly love, when you want, without guilt, and why you can also sometimes choose not to eat at all or save it for later.
It sounds simple, and it is, but it also takes that initial effort to put it all into practice. The more often you practice the better you’ll get just like learning any new skill. At first you might be clumsy and it feels awkward, but as time goes on it begins to feel more and more effortless, until one day you’re an expert and now you’re teaching what you know to others.
“Even though I can’t face failing one more time, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t think I can do this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I can’t stand the thought of failing again, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
If you don’t like or want to say, “deeply and completely accept myself” change it to something else. It’s fine to change the wording. These are examples. It’s easiest to memorize the process using the same basic pattern, but once you know the steps, go ahead and say what you want. It all works.
Learning new techniques but never following through may be what you’ve done in the past, and now perhaps you’re ready to put the One More Bite ideas and concepts to use. This process will work, if you take it one day at a time, one issue at a time, one bite at a time, and give yourself time. It’s not going to be a one-day, one-time thing. This is life work. Stop trying to fix yourself. You aren’t broken. You may have a habit or two you’d like to change, and that’s okay. Work on that habit and only that habit and let go all the other things you think are wrong. They can be addressed another day.
It’s true that when the project becomes too overwhelming all efforts stop, so if you are the project, whittle it down into little bits (or bites). Even if only a tiny twig is removed, eventually the path is cleared. Have you seen ants at work? They don’t move much at once but the job gets done because they are persistent.
Work on the fear factor–“Even though I’m afraid, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Three times a day for one week, then check back to see if you still are as afraid.