Fat-free French Fries Maker: Does it Work?

Really dumb product alert!

I saw this gadget at a thrift shop and had to have it. The picture sold me. Note how nice and crispy brown the fries appear? How exactly do they achieve that remarkable result in a microwave?

NewsChannel 11 in Lubbock Texas has a wonderful weekly feature called “Does it Work.” Apparently usually not. If I lived in Texas, that’d be my favorite show. You can read the reviews at their site, and luckily for you, dear reader, they reviewed the Fat-free French Fries Microwave French Fries Maker. Even the name is a bit suspect.

Can Cellulite Be Cured?

Heard of TriActive LaserDermology? Neither have I. Apparently they say you can rid yourself of cellulite (that dimpling of fat near the skin’s surface) by receiving treatments with this new gadget.

TriActive Laser Dermology states, “It attacks cellulite three ways:

  1. First low energy laser light penetrates the skin, enhancing blood circulation and softening the connective tissue; er, okay, then
  2. Deep-tissue massage (this is helpful, but hey, fingers do a good job) stimulates blood flow and drainage; and
  3. Cooling effect (what exactly is that) that shrinks fat cells (oh, really?) and lessens swelling (from the other treatment effects?).”

This doesn’t sound like fun to me. Tell me, why are people willing to pay such a high price for so little when they could just eat better and probably achieve the same result? It takes six to 12 treatments at a cost from $75 to $150 each, so we’re looking at a low of $450 to a high of $1,800 ?! Oh, my. That’s astonishing.

I’m checking but can’t really see much difference between the before and after shots. Plus, if it’s after six to 12 weeks well they could just have eaten better and gotten more exercise, so what do you think? Bogus or real thing?

Almost forget, they recommend a follow-up once a month treatment so you could be looking at a $150 a month maintenance fee.

For more sensible ideas, try a dose of The Daily Bites.

World’s Dumbest Diet Device

Goofy Weight Loss Gadgets

Have you ever thought of going to your dentist for diet advice? Now you can. Dentist are lining up to get in on the current wave of products suited to help people lose weight, and what better answer than the DDS System by Scientific Intake.

First, it’s not clear what “DDS System” actually means. I guess that’s not important. What is important, is you can only get this swell diet aid from your dentist! I can only imagine they’ve run out of things to do to teeth.

The DDS System device is nothing more than a $500 gadget you put in your mouth before you eat. That’s right, you put it in, and take it out. In other words, you completely control whether you use it at all, and its sole function? To make you take smaller bites. Ta da – that’s it.

How revolutionary! Take smaller bites! Why didn’t I think of that, but wait? Can’t I just do that all by myself? Do I really need to shell out $500 clams? What if I just bought a mouth guard like my son uses for football. That would do the trick too, or maybe a couple retainer rubber bands? Those seem to keep your mouth from opening all the way too.

I smell a big market for knockoff products. Next they’ll start selling doll-sized dinner plates and call them “The Doll Plate Diet.” I have actually seen a dinner plate that is painted with portions for your meat and potatoes, like that would work.

My husband thought putting rocks in your mouth would help, but I think that would make it tricky to swallow

— although maybe that was his point? One thing that I know works well is simply to have one side of your mouth out of commission like when you have a bad tooth – forget going to the dentist – now it’s a diet aid. You have to chew nice and slowly or suffer the consequences.
How about a mask – you put it on at 7:30 PM, and lock it shut. Then you can’t unlock it until 7:00 AM the next morning. No cheating allowed. I’ll bet you could nab one of those for $49.95 on eBay?

The slogan from the Scientific Intake website? “Eat Slower. Eat Less. It’s not only what you eat it’s how you eat.” Wow, mind bending. I’ll bet they stayed up all night to come up with that. As Dave Barry would say, “I am not making this up.”

They even have a testimonial from a happy weight loser Kelly, “I always knew that eating slower was supposed to be good for you, but I never understood why. But when I started using the DDS, I actually was able to enjoy my food. I ate what I wanted and I still was satisfied – but just ate less.”

Um, okay. And you couldn’t just take smaller bites all by yourself because … why?

Shop Until You Drop – Pounds That Is

Trim Trolley – Shop Until You Drop

Thought you had no time to exercise? Think again. The British supermarket chain, Tesco, announced Tuesday that its newly designed shopping cart/exercise machine dubbed the “Trim Trolley” is ready for testing. This ingenious device can be set at varying levels of resistance making it harder to push hence producing a resistance exercise while you shop. The more your muscles work at pushing the heavy cart, the more calories you’ll burn while doing so! Brilliant! Bravo, well done. Leave it to the Brits to come up with a way to burn off those chips while reaching for more. LOL.

Somehow I doubt the idea of making shopping more difficult is going to catch on, but that’s just me. They deserve an “A” for the effort at any rate.