You Are Born With Only Two Fears, You Learn the Rest
Behavioral research has established that babies have only two inborn fears: the fear of certain noises and the fear of falling. All other fears are learned through experience or our own thought processes.
When a baby learns to walk he isn’t afraid of the process; he’s cheered on with clapping and laughter as rewards for each successful step. When children start school suddenly they are compared to a classroom of other kids. Some learn faster than others, and some have different skills, yet most kids slowly learn not to take chances; they begin to fear being made fun of, or laughed at. The messages they begin to chant to themselves are: don’t risk, don’t try, and above all else don’t fail.
After enough painful experiences, we slowly learn to fear many things and we develop a storehouse of information about our fears. Some are very real, some are just bad memories. Some come and go, and some cause a lot of grief and trouble for us as adults because we can’t seem to move past them.
Change Can Terrify
Making attempts at personal change, especially changing your external appearance (such as when taking off weight) can be worse than mildly scary – it can be terrifying. If you succeed, people notice, for a little while, then their delight disappears and everything goes back to normal for them. They accept the “new you” as the real you, but what happens to you when you start to return to the “old you?” You may think people are noticing, or worry that you are failing, again. You may be afraid that people you know and your family will make fun of you, or laugh behind your back. You may revert to grade school and all those old familiar feelings rush right back in. “It costs too much to fail, maybe it’s best if I just don’t try.”
You can move past these issues whether it is an outright fear of failure at trying again, or a vague uneasy feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on. All fears, and anxiety or uneasiness feelings are real in the moment you are experiencing them whether or not they are based on false or misleading information.
EFT to Address Fear Itself
If you are afraid of failing, or having one more failed attempt, if you’ve tried countless other programs, diets, and plans to lose some weight but none have worked, then attack the fear of failure itself with EFT. Address your fear first, and you have a much greater chance at success over the long-term.
EFT for Fear of Dieting Failure
While continuously tapping the Psychological Reveral Point (PR) located on the side of one hand in the karate chop area) say:
“Even though I’m afraid of having one more failure, and I’ve tried so many times before, none the less, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, with emphasis. Then tap the rest of the points, using a reminder statement, such as “one more failure.”
“Even though I can’t stand the though of failing one more time, I choose to give myself permission to try.”
Reminder: “Can’t fail.”
“Even though I’m not sure of this EFT will work, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I’m willing to take the chance.”
Reminder: “Not sure.”
EFT for Shame and Embarrassment
During the process you may become more aware of a different aspect, such as shame. In that instance you could change your statement. Tapping the P.R. point you would say,
“Even though I’m ashamed to say I’m going to lose the weight and then I don’t, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, with emphasis. Then tap the rest of the points using the reminder, “This shame.”
“Even though I’m embarrassed to try and fail again, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Reminder: “This embarrassment.”
Pay attention to any new thought that races through your mind as you are doing the process, acknowledge the thought, turn it into a statement, and tap on the new statement. Doing this can help uncover many aspects which may lay beneath your conscious awareness and you’ll accomplish much more than simply addressing the original issue.
Alternatively, keep a note pad handy and jot down notes about your fleeting thoughts as ideas for future EFT sessions. You’ll uncover many aspects by listening within.
Be More Specific for Best Results
EFT is most effective when it addresses specifics, rather than generalizations, so narrow down your thoughts from “I’m afraid of failing,” to a specific incident you recall where you tried and failed. What did you say to yourself at that time, what did others say to you when that happened? If you can narrow the field to one specific incident, then the EFT can quickly address the precise pathway that hundreds of other “afraid of failing” thoughts use. Interrupting that path may then affect other issues ability to continue to use that path. Think of it as putting of a roadblock on a roadway. Suddenly many travelers much find an alternate route or decide to not travel at all.
This is how EFT is able to knock down big issues by tapping on the smaller aspects first. It’s the David and Goliath approach. If you try to attack it all with full force, you cannot even cause a dent. Your Goliath of problems will just kick your army away. But if you simply sling a few pebbles straight at a specific target, like David did to Goliath, you can fell your giant.
Sometimes our loved ones do get tired of hearing us talk about what we’re “going to do,” especially if we rarely follow-through. If you fear what they will say when you tell them you are trying something new, then tap on that issue.
“Even though the last time I said I wanted to take off weight my family laughed and said ______________, I choose to give myself permission to follow through anyway.”
“Even though my husband will roll his eyes when I tell him I’m going to lose some weight, I deeply and completely love and appreciate myself, and forgive him anyway.”
Notice how I altered the phrasing in the last two examples? Add things that are true for you into your phrasing. Make the EFT process your process. The precise statements given as examples are for you to learn how to use the EFT protocol. The words themselves are not set in stone – you can be as flexible and creative as you like. The more you practice, the better and easier it becomes to use EFT for any issue that comes up through the day.
When doing EFT becomes a regular part of your daily routine, all the issues that have kept you stuck will slowly fall away until the true you is able to shine.