Help Me, I Can’t Lose Weight

I get more e-mail that starts with, “Help me,” than any other, yet those writers rarely put themselves on the list to receive my help. I’d love to spend all day answering e-mails, but frankly, I don’t have time. What I do instead is respond as best I can with the time I have, but I also use those e-mails for ideas. Some turn into articles, others into things I’ll put in The Daily Bites.

It begins with a belief that you can succeed. Nothing will happen until you strongly believe–no adamantly believe that it will. You can learn any new skill until you decide you are going to learn it.

So, start with your self-talk. If you say, “I can’t lose weight,” just immediately say to yourself, “Oh, yes I can.” Then give yourself a little pep talk: “I can do whatever I really want to do and nothing is going to stop me.” “I am woman, hear me roar,” that kind of thing.

Don’t believe your self talk? Think about that for a moment. You are a combination of your body, soul and mind, and you control the whole deal (outside of any beliefs you have about a higher power). You do decide if you are going to be a good person or not. Before you start sending me messages about how not everyone gets to decide; those with mental illness, etc., yes, but I can’t speak for the whole world. I’m talking about regular, basically mentally healthy folks who may just have a screw or two loose, okay?

If you feed yourself lousy food you get a lousy result, so why would you think feeding your mind lousy thoughts would be different? It’s not.

Use EFT for those limiting beliefs:

“Even though I cannot lose weight, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

“Even though I just don’t believe any of this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

If you are not familiar with EFT, here’s some info on how to use EFT specifically for weight loss. Read all three pages and you’ll find the worksheets with instructions.

No matter what’s come before, if anyone else has ever lost weight, then so can you and it starts with a belief that you can.

Do You Eat More Because You’re Afraid You Won’t Get Enough?

Eating out of Fear of Not Having Enough

Have you ever finished a huge meal, like Thanksgiving dinner, where you couldn’t eat another bite, when suddenly someone showed up carrying another dessert? Did you suddenly find just a bit of space to eat a little more? That’s eating out of fear; the fear of missing out on something yummy, or the fear of not being part of the group – and it has nothing to do with hunger.

Beliefs Can Shift in an Instant

This same thing can happen with any feeling – you may feel exhausted. You had a rough day at work, a traffic jam on the way home, a flat tire, and now you have a headache. You are bone tired and want to do nothing but sleep, when suddenly the phone rings. It’s a call saying, “You’ve just won a $1 million. Can you come right down?,” and you’re rushing out the door with your coat half fastened, you’re so excited you can hardly wait to get down there. Wait a minute, what happened to your headache? Probably it’s gone or just a faint memory. What happened to your exhaustion? It’s long gone too – replaced by a new surge of energy because your beliefs about this moment in time just changed. All belief shifts happen that quickly.

It only takes a tiny shift in your beliefs. Say this: I can learn to recognize when I’ve had enough. Now, ask yourself, do you believe it?

At first, you must make a bigger effort at change. You’ll start to move toward the kitchen, even when you’re still full from dinner because you’ve done it a thousand times before. This time, you’ll stop and remember, you aren’t doing that right now. Sit down, take five minutes to get control of your breathing, relax, do a session of EFT, “Even though I want more to eat, but I’m not hungry, I’m okay with myself.” “Even though I can’t break this overeating habit, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.” “Even though I can’t feel satisfied unless I’m stuffed, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Think about your belief in your ability to break this simple habit. If you’ve learned you must feel stuffed to be satisfied, then you’ll need to slowly break that pattern – first by simply stopping a little sooner. You may still have over eaten, but your level of stuffed can be qualified, and you know when you’ve had enough, too much, or way too much. You know, don’t you? Start by simply learning to leave one bite on your plate.

I know, that idea may seem radical, but it’s a great way to discover how you’ve eaten everything on your plate because it’s a habit to do so. Even if you only leave one pea, leave something on your plate. Secondly, just because there is more on the serving plate, don’t think you need to take more food. Wait a few minutes. Get in touch with your hunger levels.

I remember learning to recognize my hunger levels and the shock (and dismay) when I’d realize I’d had enough but half my food was still on my plate. I learned to ask for a doggy bag, take it home and eat in the next day. I learned to sometimes fix myself less food. I learned half a sandwich is sometimes enough. I learned a piece of fruit can satisfy my wildest hunger, for now, while I wait for dinner to cook. I learned, and so will you, when you just start to pay attention.

Small shifts in your beliefs about what you can accomplish may take a bit of time, but when you do make the shift it will be sudden and it will be permanent. Ask anyone who’s lost a lot of weight and kept it off, and they’ll tell you, “I don’t know, something just suddenly clicked,” and that’s what they’re talking about.