by OneMoreBite | Jul 21, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
It makes perfectly good sense that you wouldn’t want to give up something you enjoy, even if you think/know it would be better if you did. I had to quit smoking about 10 years ago and I say “had” because I didn’t want to. My son was in about second grade and in school they were pushing the kids to go home and tell your parents that smoking is bad, etc. So he did, and I just could not stand it, having my 8-year old know better than I, so I stopped. But I liked smoking–don’t know why, but I did. I still don’t hate the smell 😉
That time quitting was no big deal, because I only smoked outdoors, and never in front of my son, so it was only a few smokes a day. Many years prior to that I had the opportunity to quit when I smoked regularly – up to two packs a day, and had for years. That time an incident occurred that suddenly snapped my decision and that was that.
I did it by the one day at a time approach. Every morning I’d make a decision, yes or no, and I’d say, “Today I will not smoke. If I want to tomorrow, that’s fine, but today, just for today, I will not smoke. I can make it one little day. No matter what comes up, I will make it through this day.”
That’s the general idea anyway. The point is, when you are ready, you’ll be able to do it.
EFT Ideas
Meanwhile, I’d use EFT and tap on the fact that you don’t want to quit. So what, right? Use the EFT, and I’ll bet you end up uncovering lots of “good” reasons, that perhaps dealing with will help in the long run?
“Even though I just don’t want to quit smoking, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway, so there!”
“Even though no one can make me quit if I don’t want to, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I’m not ready to quit smoking, …”
“Even though I like smoking, thank you very much …”
“Even though I’m afraid I’ll gain weight if I quit smoking, I deeply and completely love and accept myself from this day forward.”
This happens so often with people wanting to lose weight. I think because there are so many underlying issues that when one thinks in terms of the big picture, i.e. quitting smoking, losing weight, that the real issues are still hidden. Tapping instead on the very idea that you hold at that moment, such as not wanting to stop, is, in my way of thinking, a good idea. Try it, and let us know what you think and how it feels to you?
by OneMoreBite | Jul 7, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
When I studied herbology it was considered that for every year you’d had a problem, then expecting one month of herb therapy was reasonable, or for every month, one week. So if one has had a weight problem for 10 years, then expecting anything less than a concentrated effort for 10 months is folly.
I think the best way to use EFT for weight loss issues is by using it on our day-to-day struggles, fears, doubts, and any anxiousness over “how long is this going to take.” I know when I decide to start adding healthier habits, I’m checking after an hour or two to see if I can tell a difference. We all want it right now.
My other problem is with weight alone – how much we weigh has nothing whatsoever to do with how we look. People get too fixated on the scale. If I let the scale bother me I’d be a basket case right now because I put on about 7 pounds since last Sept. At first I did the usual, “I’m not doing anything different. I’m eating the same. What’s going on?” routine, and then I realized the truth.
When I moved into a new house last September my exercise routine suddenly stopped entirely. I had been riding my bike 50 minutes six days a week, and doing weight training four days a week. My office was upstairs and I went up and down the stairs probably 20 times a day.
Now everything was turned upside down. My office is on the main level, so I’m no longer going up and down the stairs every day. I didn’t get back into the routine of riding my bike until just a few weeks ago (consistently), and I didn’t get started back to consistent weight training until a few weeks ago either. Yes, I’m eating about the same, but my energy needs had changed drastically. So, in nine months time I put on seven pounds (that included the holiday season). Normally I don’t gain weight over the holidays but this year I did because the added food plus decreased activity was all it took.
So, if I’d been fixated on the scale, I may have just thrown my hands up in despair over the weight gain! Oh, my God, this is horrible and now I feel awful so I’m going to eat something to make myself feel better. I’ll start a diet on Monday.” We’ve all been there. In my case even though some of my pants no longer are comfortable to wear, I just scratched my head, and thought it was strange, but went about my life. It didn’t make me “feel awful” it just was and I accepted it.
Now, I’m back into a steady routine of movement, and the weight is coming back off and now I’m satisfied with that progress. It may take a couple more months, it could take six, I don’t care – I know what I’m doing is what will make the difference, and if my weight suddenly changes despite the exercise and despite eating well, then I’ll look at the medications I’m taking, or my stress levels, or whatever else might be going on.
Use EFT every single day on whatever is going on in your life, and it will become easier and easier to become healthier every day. It takes time to regain health – give yourself that time.
“Even though I wish I could lose this weight faster, I deeply and completely accept myself and I accept that it takes time.”
“Even though I don’t want to wait to see a result, I deeply and completely accept that I’m in a hurry and I want it now.”
Remember too that exercise doesn’t have to mean sports and it doesn’t have to mean horrible boring movements you do in front of the TV. It can mean baking bread (kneading dough is a wonderful exercise), hanging laundry out to dry (I know most people don’t think of that as fun, but hey, movement feels good), washing the car (again, yuck, I know, but wait – don’t you feel invigorated after you do “chores?” I know I do. Turn every chance to move into your “idea” of exercise. Holding that grocery sack out in front of you and lift it a few times as you walk toward the house. It’s all good.
by OneMoreBite | Jun 9, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
What’s For Dinner?
Remember when we had to
How long did it take you to gain the extra weight? Have you been overweight your entire life, yet now you expect to lose it in a matter of weeks? Have you had emotional issues since childhood but now you think a day or two of effort should be all it takes? It takes time to make a change, so give yourself a break. Accept that it will take time and relax. Even though you’re in a hurry, each minute passes like the minute before, each hour, each day, each week. Time passes, whether you make a change or not. Why not make a change and notice yourself getting more fit as time passes?
Here are some EFT ideas regarding “How Long Will This Take?” or “Why is this taking so long?”
“Even though this is taking too long, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I wish the weight was gone, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I can’t wait for results, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I’m sick of this stupid weight, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I want this done and over, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
It only takes a minute to do a round of EFT so do as many rounds as are necessary to bring your SUD level to a 2 or lower.
Some people stop using EFT because it seems too easy, or they are actually getting a good result but then something stops them from continuing. What do you think could be the problem? More issues perhaps? Exactly! When you find yourself thinking, “Oh, I don’t need to do this anymore,” or “This is silly,” or “This is a waste of time, I’ll never lose the weight so why bother …” that’s a perfect opportunity to use EFT on those limiting beliefs. Use your own words to figure out what to say:
“Even though I don’t see why I should have to keep doing this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I think I look silly, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though this is stupid and a waste of time, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I’ll never lose this weight, and I don’t know why I bother trying, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Do a round of EFT every time you catch yourself in a negative frame of mind and you’ll soon find you have less and less of those moments.
For reference, here is an article posted on the Emofree.com site regarding Dr. Carol Look’s work with overweight patients. Note, this case reflects their work together over a four month period: http://www.emofree.com/addictions/twentyfivepounds.htm
Many people call and ask me, “How long will this take,” as if we were removing a mole from their finger. This is a lifelong process – start now, and within six months to a year you can be either at your goal or so much closer than you’ve been before. Plan to do something every day to work toward what you want, and plan to move away from those behaviors you’d like to leave behind, a little at a time. Small changes build up over time to create big results.
Long standing emotional issues may take many months to resolve – so what? It’s like the 17-year old who worries that medical school takes four more years after college. “That’s eight years!” they cry. Yes, that does seem like a long time, but that time will pass whether you attend school or not; the time will pass whether you do something about your emotional issues, or not. I’ve just received an invitation to my 30-year high school reunion. That eight year commitment doesn’t seem so long to me now.
Commit to giving yourself a year to achieve the goals you want for yourself. Then break that year down into months, weeks, days, and then just take it one day at a time. Most of those who take my eight week course end up saying how quickly the weeks fly by; many ask for more time. If you think of it as if you’re taking a class at college, then you’re more likely to commit to the daily exercises (homework) and do what is necessary to achieve a passing grade (get a result). It’s up to you – take the tools you’ve been given and start to use them. Do it today. You deserve to feel better, right now.
“Even though I don’t think I deserve to feel good, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
(I’m not worthy)
“Even though I can’t take this much time all to myself, I deeply and completely accept myself.” (Everyone else comes first)
“Even though I’m too busy to do all this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
(I don’t have time – maybe I’ll do it later)
No matter what your issues or doubts, use EFT on them, and you’ll find as time passes, so will your difficulties, until you reach the point you are able to either ask for help (from me or someone else) or you are able to help yourself.
This is an example of The Daily Bites which I send two to three times a week. You can receive them via e-mail by signing up here.
by OneMoreBite | Mar 15, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
Those little habits and patterns are persistent buggers and unless you keep at it, even though you think they are gone, they may come back like the zombies in “Night of the Living Dead.” Hundreds of them holding your favorite foods in their outstretched hands, begging you to eat me, eat me!
Ah, but there is something you can do to zap the zombies: just be persistent. Whenever you are making a habit change the struggle isn’t so much between good and evil as between comfort and discomfort. At first, change, no matter how small, creates discomfort. Try putting on your pants the other leg first today – you’ll see what I mean.
Try eating with the wrong hand, or driving a new route to work. It takes real effort to jump off our usual path, and even if you tried to drive a new route, day after day, one day while off in a daydream, you’d take the old, familiar route without even realizing it, until suddenly, “Oh, my gosh, how did I get here?” LOL
I think a disciplined approach to EFT and NLP can be helpful. By that I mean nothing more stringent than each morning when you first arise, a quick round of EFT on any issues from the day before that might have bothered you, just to shake off any lingering “stuff” so you can tackle the new day fresh. “Even though I didn’t like the way that clerk looked at me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Then again in the evening, while getting in bed, or even while brushing your teeth, a quick round on anything that happened that day that might have been bothersome, “Even though I got angry in traffic today, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
I think the EFT is very helpful on those little daily stressors – the annoyances, the “stuff” that builds up and causes us to want to stuff down the bad feelings with food or alcohol as the case may be. When you use it on everything, even the seemingly insignificant things, it will handle those issues that most matter.
So much of our issues are beneath the surface, and rather than spending a decade in therapy, why not just start tapping away the trouble, one bite at a time
by OneMoreBite | Mar 2, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
The other day I had a sudden memory when a wave of upset, fear, dread, all the feelings associated with that long ago event came up. I found myself suddenly sitting with a rapidly beating heart and a heaviness that hadn’t been there only a moment before. I felt quite upset, ready to break into tears, so I quickly started tapping on the PR (psychological reversal) point – the karate chop area of my hand, and said, “Even though this memory still upsets me, I deeply and completely accept and forgive myself.” I just kept saying it, as I was in a public place and didn’t want to suddenly break down in tears. I then did the regular sequence, around the face and body, repeating, “This memory,” over and over, and saying, “I’m okay, it’s okay.”
It stemmed from a time long ago when I’d unexpectedly been late and I hadn’t called my little boy who was home alone. Not thinking of how upset he’d be, I’d just had some fun with friends and came home about three hours late. To a 9-year old that’s trauma, and when I arrived home to a tear stained face with a concerned neighbor, well writing about it now still brings up upset, so excuse me while I go do another round of tapping…
Just now, as writing this, I noticed the feeling of tears rising in my eyes, which told me, I wasn’t finished with this issue. The other day I felt like I was done with it. This just shows how some persistence is necessary. If you thought an issue was resolved, but find yourself becoming upset over it again, just do some more EFT. Until you reach a point where you can have a memory with no physiological response, no tears, no heavy breathing, no tension, no response at all physically — until you reach that point, just continue doing more EFT. Eventually you will reach the point where you can think of the memory, even talk about it, but without the familiar “bad feelings.” When you reach that point you’ve released the emotional attachment. That pathway has been broken.
I continued with “Even though that memory still upsets me, I deeply and completely accept myself,” and as I tap I tend to just talk to myself so I was saying, “I didn’t want to upset him,” “I never thought,” and “I want to be a good mother.” It’s more the memory of a baby’s sad face that upsets me – I can hardly watch a movie without crying my eyes out if they show a sad child; I have such strong empathy for children.
Anyway, I’m better now. The anxiety is gone. I feel fine. That’s the beauty of EFT, and if you are using it for weight loss, be sure to use it for every stressful event that arises whether it be in the moment, or a memory. Especially use it on the memories that still bother you from the time you were shoved down in the playground and the other kids laughed because you cried, till the time your mother forget to pick you up and you thought you’d been abandoned (this happened to me, perhaps that’s why I felt so awful doing it to my own son). These events color our present world and have a very large influence on what we do and don’t do to nurture ourselves. Whether you think they are related isn’t important – just use EFT on the stresses in your life and you’ll find pounds melting away.
You’ll find instructions for using EFT for weight loss here, and additional resources here.
by OneMoreBite | Feb 26, 2004 | EFT Weight Loss
With so much attention being put on change – changing our shapes, our minds, our political views, have you ever stopped to think, “Who am I, without my weight issue?” If you didn’t have this “thing,” this constant complaint, or excuse to complain, who would you be? What would you do instead? What would you focus on, instead?
A safe place to start is with EFT on the idea of not wanting to lose a part of ourselves that we’ve become so attached to that we’d feel lost without it. You may feel as if you wouldn’t be you anymore. This is common in folks who say, “I just can’t see myself at a smaller weight,” or, “I can’t imagine losing the weight and keeping it off.”
All that’s happening is your brain (ever helpful) is trying to comfort you – those constant mental reminders that you can’t or shouldn’t or won’t are your way of comforting yourself that you’ll be all right. Saying, “I can’t picture myself at a small size,” is comforting to your psyche, the part of you that wants you to simply stay where you are is then very happy. The part that wants you to lose some size for health reasons isn’t happy at all – that’s where you get the conflicting voice that says, “But I have to lose some weight or …”
A treasure can be found in a beautifully wrapped package with ribbons and bows, or in a burlap sack thrown by the road. You never know what’s inside until you look. That’s how it is with people. We’re all different sizes and shapes, but it’s what’s inside that matters. That’s where you’ll find you. Nurture that you, and your outer package will reflect what’s inside. I’ve always been drawn to the “ugly” kittens, the homely dolls. This may have started when my mother campaigned to convince me that I wanted a Chatty Cathy doll when I was about
I loved that doll, and I’ve loved the offbeat ever since because to me, that’s where the real gems are found. When you next look in a mirror, don’t focus on what’s wrong, or what you don’t like, look for something you do like. Look into your eyes – they are the window to your soul – find a favorite freckle.
How to Remember the EFT StepsÂ
Remember the setup is simply saying the full “Even though” statement while tapping the karate chop point (sometimes called the PR point), and then start the round of EFT on the inner eyebrow point using the shorten reminder statement. It’s okay if you want to continue saying the longer phrasing – do whatever feels right to you.
EFT Ideas for the “Who Am I Going to Be” (aspects of change):
“Even though I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have this weight to complain about, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”
“Even though I can’t see myself at my goal weight, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t know who I would be if I changed, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though the idea of really changing terrifies me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I gain back the weight every time I lose it, I deeply and completely accept that part of myself now.”
Gaining what you have lost can be a way of trying to get back to the familiar. Addressing the idea of who you would be, who you could become can help change that pattern for good. This can go many directions – try it on for size. Let me know if you have questions, ideas, suggestions. All feedback is appreciated. 😉
This was a reply I made in a Yahoo Group forum, and I thought it appropriate for today’s Daily Bite. The poster was specifically asking about her reluctance to use EFT on her smoking because she really wasn’t’ ready to quit: