So Why Do We Care So Much About the Outside?
With so much attention being put on change – changing our shapes, our minds, our political views, have you ever stopped to think, “Who am I, without my weight issue?” If you didn’t have this “thing,” this constant complaint, or excuse to complain, who would you be? What would you do instead? What would you focus on, instead?
A safe place to start is with EFT on the idea of not wanting to lose a part of ourselves that we’ve become so attached to that we’d feel lost without it. You may feel as if you wouldn’t be you anymore. This is common in folks who say, “I just can’t see myself at a smaller weight,” or, “I can’t imagine losing the weight and keeping it off.”
All that’s happening is your brain (ever helpful) is trying to comfort you – those constant mental reminders that you can’t or shouldn’t or won’t are your way of comforting yourself that you’ll be all right. Saying, “I can’t picture myself at a small size,” is comforting to your psyche, the part of you that wants you to simply stay where you are is then very happy. The part that wants you to lose some size for health reasons isn’t happy at all – that’s where you get the conflicting voice that says, “But I have to lose some weight or …”
A treasure can be found in a beautifully wrapped package with ribbons and bows, or in a burlap sack thrown by the road. You never know what’s inside until you look. That’s how it is with people. We’re all different sizes and shapes, but it’s what’s inside that matters. That’s where you’ll find you. Nurture that you, and your outer package will reflect what’s inside. I’ve always been drawn to the “ugly” kittens, the homely dolls. This may have started when my mother campaigned to convince me that I wanted a Chatty Cathy doll when I was about 10-years old. Maybe she wanted it for me because her name was Cathy and my name was Kathy. She had big painted on freckles, and a little ski slope nose, big horsey teeth, and flaming red hair. Just like me. I didn’t really look like the doll, but I related to her – she was beautiful in my eyes.
I loved that doll, and I’ve loved the offbeat ever since because to me, that’s where the real gems are found. When you next look in a mirror, don’t focus on what’s wrong, or what you don’t like, look for something you do like. Look into your eyes – they are the window to your soul – find a favorite freckle.
How to Remember the EFT Steps
Remember the setup is simply saying the full “Even though” statement while tapping the karate chop point (sometimes called the PR point), and then start the round of EFT on the inner eyebrow point using the shorten reminder statement. It’s okay if you want to continue saying the longer phrasing – do whatever feels right to you.
EFT Ideas for the “Who Am I Going to Be” (aspects of change):
“Even though I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have this weight to complain about, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”
“Even though I can’t see myself at my goal weight, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t know who I would be if I changed, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though the idea of really changing terrifies me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I gain back the weight every time I lose it, I deeply and completely accept that part of myself now.”
Gaining what you have lost can be a way of trying to get back to the familiar. Addressing the idea of who you would be, who you could become can help change that pattern for good. This can go many directions – try it on for size. Let me know if you have questions, ideas, suggestions. All feedback is appreciated. 😉