by OneMoreBite | Dec 24, 2003 | Holidays
Surviving the Holidays Without Gaining Weight
Holidays are here! Great joy. Days of anticipation and foods bought and left waiting are soon to be consumed. I’m giddy with delight and I hope you are as well. Holidays are not an excuse to go crazy, but they are also not a time to cause yourself distress.
My holiday Rules For Eating, Enjoying and Not Gaining Weight
- Enjoy yourself. This is critical.
- Eat what looks wonderful, pass on the ordinary. In other words, choose homemade (if you have a choice).
- Take the time to enjoy the food. Try to determine what, if anything, is especially good to you? You might gain some insight into why particular foods call to you.
- Use EFT all day – quietly tap the karate point when you feel stress, and say to yourself, “Even though I’m getting annoyed with Uncle Charlie, I deeply and completely accept myself.” It will quietly calm you.
- Smile all day like you know a secret. People will go crazy trying to figure out what’s “different” about you.
Use EFT before you eat for any worries and concerns, and after you eat for any guilt or bad feelings. There is no need to feel guilty for eating and enjoying yourself.
EFT for the Holidays
If you have “issues” surrounding holidays, then tap like crazy on that. “Even though I hate the holidays, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though everyone has somewhere to go but me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I couldn’t afford to buy nice presents, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
This is the time to reflect on the year gone by and look toward the new.
by OneMoreBite | Dec 22, 2003 | EFT Weight Loss
Cooking in Advance, Buying Candy in Advance, All Fraught with Peril
Trying to “plan ahead” so you can avoid some of the rush is nearly impossible, unless you’re smarter than I. Thinking I’d make about three major dishes for Christmas Eve dinner it finally dawned on me last night that Christmas Eve this year is Wednesday. I’m going to have to bake on Tuesday, stick it in the refrigerator and avoid it until Wednesday evening. This is not my favorite thing to do, no not at all.
I’ve always had a difficult time in making a cake a day ahead. (Whenever you catch yourself saying the word “always” that’s a hint something to use EFT on is coming to mind). I want to eat the cake as soon as it’s finished, so if it must wait for a day, it’s torture. I also like to make those huge three and four layer cakes so it takes up the entire refrigerator causing me to see it and nothing else every time I open the door.
If I bake a lovely cake and see it in the refrigerator, it beckons to me. Knowing I cannot take a slice without ruining the presentation doesn’t seem to help me avoid the siren call. I could be sitting, minding my own business, when I suddenly snap my head upright, as if I’ve heard a ghost, “Come and get a piece of cake,” it calls to me. “I’m waiting,” it cries. Stupid cake.
Rather than trying to analyze why I have this strange desire for cake, or why I have such a difficult time in this situation, I’m going to tackle it head-on with some EFT. I may also use the Swish Technique (taught in the Ending Emotional Eating workshop, Session 4).
If you’ve struggled with similar issues, try these suggested EFT phrases, or devise some for your situation.
EFT for Patience
While continuously tapping the P.R. (Psychological Reversal) point* say, “Even though I want to eat the cake, except I’m not supposed to, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, tapping the entire time, and say it like you mean it. Then tap the rest of the points, using a reminder statement, such as “eat cake.”
“Even though I can’t stand waiting, I choose to give myself permission to wait.”
Reminder: “Can’t wait.”
“Even though I hate doing what I’m supposed to, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”
Reminder: “Hate being told what to do.”
“Even though I can’t seem to deny myself what I want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and give myself permission to wait.”
Reminder: “Can’t deny.”
Practice this on some food or beverage that seems to call to you, and see whether it helps ease that pull. If you are reluctant because you are afraid you’ll lose the desire completely (and this is a favorite thing, after all), be aware that’s unlikely to happen. Most discover they still would enjoy the food, but they no longer feel compelled to have it, and that is what is being addressed. The desire, or compulsion to have something that seems beyond a rational desire.
Smile today at every person you see, and practice patience. Think of an inside joke, remember a happy moment, or a funny movie you saw. Put a happy memory in your head and carry it around with you, then whenever you see someone just smile to yourself. Even in the crowded stores, people will treat you better when you put a happy bubble around yourself, and you’ll lift their spirits as well.
* Psychological Reversal Point (PR)
by OneMoreBite | Dec 19, 2003 | EFT Weight Loss
You Are Born With Only Two Fears, You Learn the Rest
Behavioral research has established that babies have only two inborn fears: the fear of certain noises and the fear of falling. All other fears are learned through experience or our own thought processes.
When a baby learns to walk he isn’t afraid of the process; he’s cheered on with clapping and laughter as rewards for each successful step. When children start school suddenly they are compared to a classroom of other kids. Some learn faster than others, and some have different skills, yet most kids slowly learn not to take chances; they begin to fear being made fun of, or laughed at. The messages they begin to chant to themselves are: don’t risk, don’t try, and above all else don’t fail.
After enough painful experiences, we slowly learn to fear many things and we develop a storehouse of information about our fears. Some are very real, some are just bad memories. Some come and go, and some cause a lot of grief and trouble for us as adults because we can’t seem to move past them.
Change Can Terrify
Making attempts at personal change, especially changing your external appearance (such as when taking off weight) can be worse than mildly scary – it can be terrifying. If you succeed, people notice, for a little while, then their delight disappears and everything goes back to normal for them. They accept the “new you” as the real you, but what happens to you when you start to return to the “old you?” You may think people are noticing, or worry that you are failing, again. You may be afraid that people you know and your family will make fun of you, or laugh behind your back. You may revert to grade school and all those old familiar feelings rush right back in. “It costs too much to fail, maybe it’s best if I just don’t try.”
You can move past these issues whether it is an outright fear of failure at trying again, or a vague uneasy feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on. All fears, and anxiety or uneasiness feelings are real in the moment you are experiencing them whether or not they are based on false or misleading information.
EFT to Address Fear Itself
If you are afraid of failing, or having one more failed attempt, if you’ve tried countless other programs, diets, and plans to lose some weight but none have worked, then attack the fear of failure itself with EFT. Address your fear first, and you have a much greater chance at success over the long-term.
EFT for Fear of Dieting Failure
While continuously tapping the Psychological Reveral Point (PR) located on the side of one hand in the karate chop area) say:
“Even though I’m afraid of having one more failure, and I’ve tried so many times before, none the less, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, with emphasis. Then tap the rest of the points, using a reminder statement, such as “one more failure.”
“Even though I can’t stand the though of failing one more time, I choose to give myself permission to try.”
Reminder: “Can’t fail.”
“Even though I’m not sure of this EFT will work, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I’m willing to take the chance.”
Reminder: “Not sure.”
EFT for Shame and Embarrassment
During the process you may become more aware of a different aspect, such as shame. In that instance you could change your statement. Tapping the P.R. point you would say,
“Even though I’m ashamed to say I’m going to lose the weight and then I don’t, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Repeat three times, with emphasis. Then tap the rest of the points using the reminder, “This shame.”
“Even though I’m embarrassed to try and fail again, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Reminder: “This embarrassment.”
Pay attention to any new thought that races through your mind as you are doing the process, acknowledge the thought, turn it into a statement, and tap on the new statement. Doing this can help uncover many aspects which may lay beneath your conscious awareness and you’ll accomplish much more than simply addressing the original issue.
Alternatively, keep a note pad handy and jot down notes about your fleeting thoughts as ideas for future EFT sessions. You’ll uncover many aspects by listening within.
Be More Specific for Best Results
EFT is most effective when it addresses specifics, rather than generalizations, so narrow down your thoughts from “I’m afraid of failing,” to a specific incident you recall where you tried and failed. What did you say to yourself at that time, what did others say to you when that happened? If you can narrow the field to one specific incident, then the EFT can quickly address the precise pathway that hundreds of other “afraid of failing” thoughts use. Interrupting that path may then affect other issues ability to continue to use that path. Think of it as putting of a roadblock on a roadway. Suddenly many travelers much find an alternate route or decide to not travel at all.
This is how EFT is able to knock down big issues by tapping on the smaller aspects first. It’s the David and Goliath approach. If you try to attack it all with full force, you cannot even cause a dent. Your Goliath of problems will just kick your army away. But if you simply sling a few pebbles straight at a specific target, like David did to Goliath, you can fell your giant.
Sometimes our loved ones do get tired of hearing us talk about what we’re “going to do,” especially if we rarely follow-through. If you fear what they will say when you tell them you are trying something new, then tap on that issue.
“Even though the last time I said I wanted to take off weight my family laughed and said ______________, I choose to give myself permission to follow through anyway.”
“Even though my husband will roll his eyes when I tell him I’m going to lose some weight, I deeply and completely love and appreciate myself, and forgive him anyway.”
Notice how I altered the phrasing in the last two examples? Add things that are true for you into your phrasing. Make the EFT process your process. The precise statements given as examples are for you to learn how to use the EFT protocol. The words themselves are not set in stone – you can be as flexible and creative as you like. The more you practice, the better and easier it becomes to use EFT for any issue that comes up through the day.
When doing EFT becomes a regular part of your daily routine, all the issues that have kept you stuck will slowly fall away until the true you is able to shine.
by OneMoreBite | Dec 16, 2003 | Habits
Scarcity and Deprivation: Ugly Twin Sisters of Fear Based Living
What if you’re the type that cannot just “cut back?” You go crazy if you see your favorites, or even think about your favorites? Sometimes it does take the “cold turkey” approach and here’s why.
Get a New Attitude
Sometimes what it takes is a new attitude towards the whole thing. Eating, after all, is something you need on an ongoing basis, day in and day out, you must eat to survive. So, it comes down to better choices, but how do you make better choices when you are constantly facing the same enticements to eat? You fight back, that’s how. You use any tool you have. You get mad. This isn’t about ice cream with a cherry on top, it’s about your life. You choose.
The First Step Is Get Angry
Get mad at the companies constantly trying to sell you more, bigger, better. There’s nothing wrong with designing a better product, but the food products are not better, only more fattening and more expensive. Fake foods are a good example of a junky product that we’re being told is good for us. That’s a lie–those products, including the low fat lies are highly responsible for the sorry state of our health, but it’s our own fault for believing the advertising. Now low carb foods are being introduced. Just say no with your pocketbook and refuse to buy them.
Take Back Control of Your Eating
Today, decide you are mad, and you are going to do something about it. Taking action is the only way you’ll get to your destination. You take action by doing EFT – right now, while you’re thinking about it. I saw a TV program where the actress was having a stressful moment and she started tapping her eyebrow point. That was an eye opener because I believe the time will come when the EFT technique will be an accepted practice for every person. It’s an easy way to relax yourself, and reduce stress right in that moment. It’s also an easy way to get past limiting beliefs that keep you stuck.
If you have foods in your house that cause you grief, get rid of them. This will be a winter clean-up, get the old, stale chips out of the house. Throw out leftovers, unless you plan to use them the next day. It’s not wasted food to throw excess away. It makes good sense. Stop thinking of yourself as a garbage can. If you paid for something and ate it all, it cost you that much money. If you paid for something and ate half, it still cost you that much money. No difference in how much that item cost – so it’s not a better or worse value whether you eat it at all. It’s money already spent.
Choose one thing you get often, but that you wish you wouldn’t and decide to not get this product today. Just take it one day at a time – “Today I will not purchase X.” Make a vow to yourself, that for today, you will not get this food, eat this thing, do this deed, whatever you choose. Do a round of EFT on your craving or desire for it, and start now. This isn’t a good idea for sometime, but an exercise to do right now. No matter where you are, no matter what time zone, do it now. (Print this out though to keep for the future – you’ll want it).
Do EFT for this particular food or drink when you awaken in the morning, when you get in your car, and at meals everyday for the next week – 7 full days. Mark it on the calendar, today you started, put a mark for every time you do the EFT and keep track until you’ve got seven days straight with at least three marks on each day. Take this one simple action and you’re life could change for the better.
This cold turkey approach works well for things you purchase habitually, but wish you wouldn’t. It could be your habit of checking out the bakery section – you can still grab bread without looking at the pastries, trust me. The aisle where they sell candy bars can be skipped without too much trauma. The act of obtaining your treats is half the allure.
Think about it – you decide to get something to eat, you think ahead to how much you’ll enjoy having it, you see yourself eating it, you get in your car, you head to the store, it’s an “event” in itself. You choose your food, you carry it to the checkout, you get out your coins and you make your purchase. Only when you are safely outside the store can you actually “have” what you bought. Up until then, it’s not really yours at all. No small wonder we’re all so wrapped up in the process of getting food and eating it. Is this true for you?
You can start now, and even though during the holidays you may find you have to go into the bakery (or wherever), that’s okay. The idea is to get past the notion that you are powerless over your urge to purchase something. Give it a trial run now. It may end up being the best thing you do for yourself this whole year.
EFT suggestions
“Even though I want to look at donuts, I choose to walk on by.”
“Even though I can hardly stand not going in the bakery, I choose to say no, today.”
“Even though I want to look at candy bars, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I can’t stand it if I don’t …”
Do a round of EFT and know this is a decision you are making for today only. Tomorrow you can do as you choose. That takes off the edge of feeling like it’s forever. Anyone can make a 24-hour commitment to change, and each day stands alone. You’ll never reach the point where you’re saying, it’s been 365 days since … because it’s always just 24 hours. That also keeps you from suddenly thinking, “Hey, it’s been too long. I don’t want to go forever without …”
I’m going to get healthier and leaner in the upcoming months and I invite you to join me.
by OneMoreBite | Dec 9, 2003 | Weight Loss Tips
Do you take the time to periodically chart your eating habits? If you don’t know what you do now, how are you going to change your eating habits?
First, try to write a log of what you regularly eat from memory. Write down what you ate yesterday, for instance. You’ll be able to remember the highlights, but you’ll probably have more trouble remembering the little bits here and there. Yes, chewing gum counts, and so does anything that goes in your mouth. Just list the basic foods, meals, etc., as best you can recall. Put that list aside, and then today write down what you actually eat as soon as possible after you eat it. If you remember what you already had today, write those too, including that tiny nibble of cake as you walked past, and that little grab from the peanut dish. Everything you put in your mouth, including pure water, must be listed.
If you try to remember, you’ll capture the big items, but you’ll forget that taste here, that little lick there. Did you know you can easily eat an extra 250 or more calories just tasting as you cook? Diet tip: Stop licking the spoon! Especially this holiday season. Stop licking the beaters, taking your finger and scraping the bowl, etc. Stop it. If you want to eat some, wait until it is finished, then eat some. Put the spoons immediately under water, or give them to the kids (naturally, that teaches the kids to lick the spoon, but you could include the message that, “This is for you since you’re the kid.”)
Why A Food Diary Helps
The point of a food diary is to capture your regular eating patterns, then choose one thing you can change. Licking the spoon is a thing you can change. It doesn’t cause too much trauma to drop that from your usual habits, and no, since you don’t cook often, it’s not going to cause major weight gain all by itself, but listen, it is all these little things that add up to one big thing, your rear, sitting on the chair.
Kill the Licking the Spoon HabitÂ
Resolve now that you will drop the habit of licking the spoon, or tasting as you cook. Sure, I hear how you won’t know if it’s salty enough etc., unless you taste, but a teensy bit on the tip of a spoon or fork tine, is not the same as a big bite. Licking the entire contents of the chocolate chip bowl is not the same as a teensy taste. Better to just break the habit. Sure, it’s a holdover from when you were a kid. It was a treat to lick the spoon, but you’re not a kid anymore are you? Save that for your kids, or your grand kids, and drop it as a practice for you.
Remember, it’s these little changes that create real results. It’s a trick of those who stay slender. Likewise, when you discover your general eating habits, you can choose one thing to change, cut back, or discard entirely. Sometimes it’s best to just take it slowly as in weaning yourself from whole milk to skim. First try 4% and when that is okay, switch to 2%. After that, switch again to 1% or go straight to skim. Once you get used to it, you’ll think whole milk tastes like pure cream ? it’s much too thick and creamy for me to use now ? of course it tastes good, so do thousands of other things, but you must choose what you’ll regularly eat. Do you want to consume your day’s worth of fat and calories in your milk, or would you rather eat something more substantial with your milk?
What if there were a global energy failure and we no longer had fast food restaurants? Would you die of starvation or would you just learn to eat something else? I’d venture a guess that you’d adapt. I recently got a copy of Restaurant Confidential and if you want to be shocked, get a copy and check out the calorie counts of some of your favorite fast foods, then drop one night a week from the fast food plan – or add one night a week of home cooking. Yes, it means time in the kitchen.
Consider time in the kitchen used to be a pleasurable time. Think of the physical movement we used to get, kneading bread, chopping vegetables, bending over and reaching for the dishes? Get back into the frame of mind of enjoying physical movement for its own sake and you’ll find pleasure in these daily activities once again. It’s the little changes that add up to the big results.
