Google Gulp is Here, But Where’s the Diet Version?

Those wacky kids at Google are at it again. If you don’t know right away what I mean, check out this new offering:


Visit Google Gulp

What’s this? “Think fruity. Think refreshing,” says Google.

“Think a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink™ technology, and slamming a truckload of electrolytic neurotransmitter smart-drug stimulants past the blood-brain barrier to achieve maximum optimization of your soon-to-be-grateful cerebral cortex. Plus, it’s low in carbs!”

Who ever has this job has gotta be having a great time, and that’s all I know, so hats off to you Google Guys for making it real, er, in a fake product kind of way.

BTW, notice how their page makes you want this, even though they say it will analyze your brain, and even though it’s basically hopeless you’ll find someone with a cap so you can get one too? That’s my point. Advertising. Watch what you see and read and pay attention. Ads are designed to make you want what they offer so they make big promises and you may just not even notice what the ad really says at all. “Results not typical,” and whatnot. This is an excellent example of pure marketing in action. Even I want some. 😉