Chicken Fries or How to Make it Even More Fattening

Burger King’s got the jump on this one, and it’s a great idea: Strips of chicken, battered and deep fried (just the way we like it), with a spicy, snappy, addictive taste. Their thinking is that people want food they can eat on-the-go (in the car perhaps) and their cup-full-o-chicken-strips fits that bill. The dipping sauce would be a problem, but I’m sure they’ll figure that out.

Maybe the auto manufacturers should take a clue and put a mini-bar in the front seat? That’d be cool. Push a button and it flips up with a little tray, mini-refrigerator, maybe a mini-microwave for heating those “better when hot” snacks? Cup holder, natch. Um, what else? Ideas, people, give me ideas. Napkin holder would be nice, maybe a condiment center? Pretty soon I’m gonna need an RV just to get to work.

Then, when you’re done, push another button and that flips away and up flips your “porta-office.” Oh, the joy, the rapture, to be able to read e-mail and organize files while zipping down the road at 70 miles-per-hour in a 10,000 pound machine.

After a work “break” it’s time to get serious, so push another button and the portable DVD/game console pops up. This is for serious traffic jams only though! Remember to keep your eyes on the road and your free hand on the wheel at all times.

This leads to me my latest “big idea.” I want a semi-truck, train, bus, whatever, something big, to haul a bunch of exercise equipment. Then the commuters can pay a fee to ride in the beast while exercising on their way to and from work. The trouble with that idea is when there is no traffic the ride would be too fast, and you’d get a lousy workout, but when the traffic is horrible and everyone else is all stressed and annoyed, us in the “Move it or Lose it” bus are saying, “ha ha on you. We’re getting our exercise!” I love this idea, it just needs a little tweaking, oh, and a bunch of money.

Paul Allen, Bill Gates? You have the bucks. Make it happen, and I’ll be first in line for a monthly pass, and you’ll be heroes.